Friday, 11 November 2011

Refusal to Mourn

My Father L.K. Way (right)  and my Grandfather J.E.D Hall both Political Journalists-
Conservative Conference, sometime in the 1950's at Brighton
My father lived for 95 years. (28th September 1916- 8th November 2011)
His life spanned nearly a century- it's hard to imagine what changes he has seen. He was at Dunkirk and was rescued by a ship from the beaches. He never spoke of the war but regretted missing so much of his two elder sons' early lives and his wife's last years (she died  of cancer not long after he returned from duty). All his life he was involved with words and politics. He had been awarded a C.B.E , had poems published and was a political journalist respected by all political parties.
He always spoke of the joy and delight he felt when he met my beautiful mother, who was then an ice dancer with ' Holiday on Ice' and how lucky he felt to be given another chance at happiness when he had a second family- myself and my brother- together with her.
I will not now speak of all the things I could tell you of him: his goodness, integrity and intelligence and I will only say that to me he was the perfect English gentleman.
I refuse to mourn his passing.
For the last few years all the things that he enjoyed and all the things that made him himself have been slowly stripped from him. He coped with courage, wry humour and dignity but I could feel only fury.
That has passed now and I feel sadness but no more rage.
I am lucky to have my faith and believe that when it is my time to make that final leap over to the other side, his hands will be there to catch me.


  1. Hello Jane:
    Of course you cannot possibly convey in a single post all the many wonderful memories which you have of your father.They will, however, remain preciously stowed away in your heart. Clearly, he led a most active and interesting life and, inevitably, the last few years of his life and his death have been very difficult for you and for him. We are sad for you but can see that you have much that is good to remember him by and much that is positive to take with you into the future.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

  2. Dear Jane and Lance,
    Thank you for your kind comment and prayers. I am very lucky to have had such a wonderful Father. Jane x

  3. Jane... You have written a beautiful post and memoriam to your father. I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, believe your father will be there to catch you on the other side. It sounds like he was an amazing man. May your wonderful memories carry you through this time of sadness. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. Thank you Bonnie. I know I will soon be happy remembering my wonderful childhood. Jane x

  5. You will find strength to get you through these difficult days. Take care.

  6. Dear Jane,

    I remember you saying: "I think he knew I was there" when talking about your father. I didn't want to ask, but those words stayed with me, as I often wondererd what you meant by them. Now I know...

    Nothing more terrible than seeing someone who gave you the gift of life go... switch off a little bit each day. That is why you refuse to mourn... you have already done so, every day, for many days. I know, because I cannot bear myself to mourn my mother's passing and I'm even writing a blog for her!
    Jane... what can I say? As the days go by, you will come to realize that so much of him still lives in you and that he still lives in you.

    I was sorry to hear about the loss of your father, Jane, and I wish I could say something to make you feel better. But I can't...

    He looks sweet in the photo.

    Take care


  7. Hello Jane

    I am sorry at the recent loss of your dear father.
    How beautiful to know he was the perfect English gentleman. A superior quality. His career was fascinating and no doubt you have many stories.
    He would be proud of you for remembering him today.

    Helen xx

  8. First of all your photo is so wonderful, such elegant looking men. I had no idea that you were going through this, you've been so supportive of me and my daughter and OUR problems. I know you said you refuse to mourn but I only know how to say I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I care, I will pray for you and your family. Diane

  9. He will always walk with you in your heart, he gave you a part of himself, that can never be taken away...he'll be there to catch you xx
    sending you love and a hug x

  10. What a beautiful post Jane, and such a fitting tribute to a wonderful father. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Much Love
    Jo xx

  11. Sorry for your loss. Take care.

    Love, Linnea

  12. Memories to comfort you; love to sustain you. Jim

  13. I hope that: to have loved and to have been so loved will help you through such a painful time.


  14. I'm going back to Buckinghamshire this morning for the funeral tomorrrow. Thank you all so much for your loving comments, it has been such a help. Jane xxx

  15. Hello Jane.

    A moving and loving tribute to your father - and what an interesting and active person he was! He would have been very proud of you I'm sure.

    Hold on to your memories.

    Carol xxx

  16. Dear Jane
    I am so very sorry to read that your dear father has passed away.
    I read your comment that the funeral is today... you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Abby xx

  17. Just a hello this morning to tell you I'm thinking of you. I hope your days get easier, this is such a hard time for you. I pray. Diane

  18. Carol, Abby and Diane, A rather late 'Thank you' for your kind thoughts and prayers. Jane x